Gah.

Do I even need a resume for a casual job?

I hope not.

I mean, casual jobs are for the experience, right? Those are the jobs that you put in your resume to get other better jobs.

Agh.

I can feel my mood and self-esteem dipping again.

Damn it.

I’ve lived a sheltered life.

Woe is betide me for being the youngest in the family. It’s sucky enough that I’m not actually 18 yet. I still pretty much legally belong to my family. I can’t even swear yet.

Oh sure, I get away with ‘heck’ and the occasional ‘hell’. Plus, my siblings already stopped holding back on the swearing around me.

It sucks being the youngest. Everyone expects you to stay the baby of the family while complaining about it as well.

I honestly would have bought some plane tickets to Europe if it weren’t for the fact that I’m under 18 and I’m broke and I am not to leave the country for the next two years for fear of losing my PR visa.

I think I’m the only one to be thinking so independently so soon.

Like, I want to get a job and work a little while I study so that I can help with rent and rack up some savings. Not even my sister did that, and she’s apparently the most independent one in the family.

With the savings, I’ll either get a car first or my own flat. I’m kinda hoping my dad will come around and sponsor me the car but I’m not getting my expectations up.

I’ll probably have to get a car first, either way. Just a cheap one. A small one. Enough to get me from point A to point B in good time.

Then I’ll get myself a flat. Two bedrooms should be alright. I can live there on my own or with a room-mate or something. Basically still my own personal space all to myself.

4 years of Uni. Hopefully a car and/or a flat by my second/third year. Then I’ll keep on saving until I have enough to get myself to and around Europe after I graduate, plus more savings left over for future use.

Yea.

I gotta take control of my life.

This year, I will work my way to being a newer and better person.

Looking through application requirements in teaching music to little kids.

Apparently I have to be able to sing on pitch.

God damn it.

GOD DAMN IT.

happy leaf erickson day 

hinga dinga durgen

(Source: souljaboymeetsworld)

styleswhore:

i may be annoying and ugly but at least i don’t have auto play on my blog

I have no idea what I’m doing.

Over-thinking and planning way too far ahead of myself is what has got me in this tight space I’m in right now within my own mind.

Yet I keep on doing it.

Right.

Read More

And I do wonder if my boobs are just fat.

Fat boobs are the worst. They don’t know what they want to be.

Blah.

I really hate my body sometimes.

I am just way too curvy.

I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing but it is rather annoying.

Like, I intend to lose weight and drop at least one dress size by the end of the year. So that would mean going from about a 16 to a 14.

My bones, however, are not a part of that change.

I have big bones. There won’t be any difference there no matter how much weight I lose.

My shoulders have always been a problem. My shoulders and my boobs. When shopping for tops, everything’s okay until it comes to the shoulders and boobs. It’s always too snug around there.

I’m trying to not buy any more clothes until I have dropped a size but I really want this jacket and gaaahhh.

This is such a stupid problem. I know.

I’d rather this than something else, though. Honest.

Anyway.

So like, even if I were to drop down three sizes, my shoulders would still stay the same, right? So if a 16 is all that would fit my shoulders, then I would still have to wear a size 16 even if I were a size 12?

AAAAAASDLKJFASLDMFVALDSKFJADSLKJFASDLKFJA

I WANNA BUY THIS MENS HOODIE FOR MYSELF.

SHOULD I?

SHOULD

I

????

SHOOOOOOOULLD IIIIII??????

Gah.

I pity my future boyfriend (if ever). I am going to wear his clothes more often than he does.

Which is pretty much why I need therapy. So that I can be healthy. So that I can one day maybe have a healthy relationship.

That’s beside the point.

DO YOU THINK I SHOULD GET THIS HOODIE FOR MYSELF??

LEGIT QUESTION.